


That Distant Shore

by two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat



Series: Lapidot Week 2020 [2]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Gen, I had to re-upload this three times because my internet's shit, Implied/Referenced PTSD Dreams, Lapidot Week 2020, the beach
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:22:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23879098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat/pseuds/two_drama_nerds_in_a_boat
Summary: Lapis Lazuli hates the beach. Peridot is indifferent.(Prompt: The Beach/Sweater Weather)
Relationships: Lapis Lazuli/Peridot (Steven Universe)
Series: Lapidot Week 2020 [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1718677
Kudos: 18





	That Distant Shore

**Author's Note:**

> "Maybe I'll find myself sitting on that distant shore. Maybe I'm not alone."

Peridot enjoys the ocean, to some extent. The waves are calming, she supposes, though she still doesn’t really understand the idea of sounds or sensations making someone feel ‘calm’. She’s trying to get the hang of it, of all this human stuff. Steven’s been trying to teach her. Admittedly, he’s not as bad as she would have thought. But she still doesn’t really quite get it, the allure of the beach. She enjoys the activities they’ve held there - barbecues and concerts and whatever else the citizens of Beach City have decided to do in-between the various alien attacks that have always been a part of their daily life. She likes walking on the sand, and picking up shells and recording her findings when she gets back to the Barn. But mostly, she’s just indifferent. 

Lapis hates the ocean. She knows she shouldn’t. She knows that water’s a part of her, something she can control and create and become, and that she shouldn’t fear it, not really. And, for the most part, she’s fine. She can create Morps with Peridot and use water to power them. She can water their crops on the farm. But something about those waves sickens her. The way they thrash and throw against each other, rising and falling against the sand. The way the ocean can seem calm at first, and then turn on you in an instant. She knows all about riptides and whirlpools and deadly waves. She never needed to research them; they’re a part of her. They stick with her, like the memories that keep her up in the night. And when she sees the ocean, all she can think about is Jasper, and Malachite, and those horrible heavy chains, and the dread and fear and pain associated with it all. So they stay in the Barn, mostly. 

Lapis hates going to the beach, and Peridot’s indifferent. They can do so much where they are, on land. Play baseball, or grow crops, or help Steven in his latest endeavor. It’s a simple life. They need it. Lapis needs the calm, and Peridot needs some time. They stay in the Barn, or in their fields, or in town. They don’t go near the ocean. 

They sleep in the Barn. It’s something Steven recommended, mostly, but the other Gems did, too Steven explained that it can be helpful for working through bad memories. So they sleep, most nights, though it’s something they’re still getting used to. They each have their own side of the Barn. It’s not a bad arrangement; they’ve gotten used to each other. Lapis wakes up, some nights, turning over and over in her sheets. She’s sweating, or crying, or sometimes both. So many times she finds herself shouting. Peridot tells her it sounds like she was trying to fight someone. Trying to escape. Lapis never answers her. They both know who she was screaming about. 

Sometimes when Lapis wakes up she has Malachite’s eyes. They don’t talk about that, either. Lapis tells herself it’s just a trick of the light. Peridot tries to reason that it’s impossible for her to still be connected to Jasper, though she doesn’t say it out loud. Sometimes it’s better to just keep her thoughts inside her head. It’s easier that way. 

When Lapis wakes up on these nights, terrified and shaking, Peridot will approach her and hold her hands. Maybe hug her. She’s still figuring out physical contact, and where her boundaries are, and Lapis is still recovering from being trapped in a mirror, and then in space, and then underwater. Sometimes they hug. Sometimes they fall asleep beside each other, not quite touching, but staying close enough. Lapis never gets a full night’s sleep, but she’ll spend a full night beside Peridot. That way, when Jasper tumbles into her dreams, Peridot’s there to help her if she needs to. She can’t really chase Jasper away, but she can hold on to Lapis’s hand and say it’s just a dream, and that seems to work for both of them. 

Lapis and Peridot don’t go to the beach, but sometimes they look at the water. It’s peaceful, from the shore. That’s something that Lapis thinks about sometimes. When she was stuck underwater, with Jasper, with Malachite, everything was always warring. She and Jasper would fight, and Malachite would toss and turn and scream, and the water all around them would turn into a dark blue version of Hell. But none of that is seen, on the surface. Not when they’re safe on the shore. Not when Peridot’s holding her hand and babbling about what they should plant next season, or when Pumpkin’s scratching at her legs, asking to be picked up, or when Steven’s running bye with a cute little wave and a promise of adventure tomorrow. 

They tell themselves that it’ll be okay. They tell themselves they’ll be safe, they are safe, and nothing can hurt them anymore. Sometimes, they tell each other this, too. 

Lapis is thinking about taking a walk on the beach, sometime in the future. 

Peridot promises she’ll be there when she does.

**Author's Note:**

> when I tell you it took THREE TIMES to upload this properly... hhhhhhhh the struggle of the modern fanfiction author.


End file.
